Das Bierhaus

Look who's 4 months old! He's 15 lbs 12 oz. That's pretty small for a Peton at 4 months. 50% weight and height, but 97% head. The head part is Petonly.

Wow, he thinks I'm awesome.

I pretty much am.

So, I bought this Groupon. It was for a place called Das Bierhaus out in Mt. Angel, a quaint little german town not far from here. The description of the groupon had a picture of a big plate of brats and kraut and all the german fixins. I thought the Mr. would really like it, and I'm a sucker for a good deal. It was only $15 for $30 worth of food and drinks!

We invited a couple from the ward to come with us to Mt. Angel for dinner. When we got there, it was a dingy looking tavern. Neal and the others were like, "Um, we're pretty sure it's a bar. It doesn't look like our kind of place." But, I insisted we go in and check it out. I didn't want to waste my groupon! We opened the door with the "Absolutely No Minors Allowed" placard, and took one step inside. Everyone at the bar turned and looked at us like we were lepers. I didn't see a plate of food in sight. just drinks and drinkers. We left. FYI: Mormon's aren't accustomed to the bar scene. Especially when they're with their Bishop.

Neal said that the name should have been my first clue.

And then Neal almost killed us all by running a stop sign. We had a fun night!

So much for my groupon.

The Inventor of Attention

This, my friends, is the time, on my ceiling.

I love it.

While at my parents, I was laying in their bed, chatting with my Mom. That's is something I always have, always will, enjoy. I looked up and saw the time, in giant numbers, on their ceiling. I was in awe! Genius!

I soon found myself on Amazon, looking for the Oregon Scientific Projecting Clock. I found it. But I didn't remember ordering it.

A few days later, a package arrived from my friendly UPS guy. It was my clock!! Hmmm. I thought I was going to wait to order it. I must have had another adventure in Amazon's famed "one click ordering." Oh well. I plugged it in, set the time, and was giddy! I would never again have to roll over, squint my eyes, and lean towards the little clock radio on my night stand. I just open my eyes, and there is the time, in giant numbers for my non-spectacled eyes to see, with little to no effort on my part! I'm in love.

As I was throwing the package away in the recycle bin, I happened to glance at the packaging slip. I noticed a "Love, Mom" on the paper. I looked closer, and saw that it was from my Mom!! Even better! She must have read my mind. I'm so glad I saw that it was a gift from her, otherwise, I would never have thanked her for it.

What a nice Mom I have.

Yesterday, I was remarking to Kate about her love of attention. I asked her, "Kate, what would you do if there was no such thing as attention?"

Kate's quick response was, "I would freak out so hard that everyone would pay attention, then I would be the inventor of attention and everyone would want me to sign autographs. Then, I would have all the attention!"

My Life Right Now

My current life, expressed in one picture.

And I really wouldn't have it any other way.

Man, that's art, I think.

This morning as I was scrubbing bathroom, I chuckled when a funny story popped into my head. I'll share.

When I met Neal, he worked at ZCMI, Valley Fair Mall edition, and also Zions bank (I hear that Valley Fair Mall is now Little Hanoi). He was saving pennies for his mission. He told me a story that made me laugh.

He was working the counter at ZCMI one evening, when a lady customer came in to return an item. She threw a Thigh Master - Suzanne Somers edition - onto the counter and said, "I was using this, and it broke."

Neal started laughing.

The lady didn't laugh. She said, "It's not funny. It hurt, and I'm not happy."

It makes me laugh every time I think of that story. And I think of that story any time I hear about Suzanne Somers, or Three's Company, or thighs. Not chicken thighs though.

A Firm Grip

Heading out the door some mornings can be an exercise in chaos and sherpa skills. It usually involves some sort of Abby-herding (ever heard the term "herding cats?"), a diaper bag, a giant car seat filled with giant baby, and a juggle with the car keys. And on particularly rough mornings, a freshly cracked can of the diet coke.

I had one such morning a couple of weeks ago. On top of it all, I was freaking grouchy, had a headache, and was lacking in humor.

After I managed to restrain Abigail in her car seat, and got Jacob situated, I was heading around the front of the van to get in my drivers seat. In the garage in front of the van sits the bicycles. My pant leg caught on a pedal, and I went down fast and hard.

All the way down. My whole belly and arms and legs kissed the concrete.

In my hand was a fresh new can of diet coke.

When I hit the ground, my grip must have tightened just as the bottom of the can hit the floor. Diet coke gysered out of the can, splattered my glasses and face, and soaked my hair.

I didn't laugh. I swore in an angry tone. I knew it was funny. I actually thought, "Man, too bad no one was here to see this exercise in grace." But, I wasn't ready to laugh because I was in the middle of ticked-offed-ness when it happened. However, I saved the crushed can because I knew I would later laugh about it and want to show Neal as I told him the story.

When I got in the van, Abby said, "Mom, where did you go? I saw you walkin in front of the van, and you disappeared. Why is your hair all wet?"

"I fell down."

She looked out of her door and saw a puddle of coke on the garage floor. "Oh Mom, you spilled your diet coke everywhere! I'm sorry! You made a mess all over."

Yesterday, Sarah was "sick." I'm pretty sure she was just tired and wanted out of school. So she stayed home. I took her to lunch at Hawaiian Time. It's pretty much what I crave at anytime, day or night. I could eat that stuff every day. Anyway, as she was reading the menu, she started to giggle and I heard her say under her breath, "Oh my gosh. I am so retarded."

"What?" I asked her.

"All this time, I thought it was 'Honoloohoo.'"