Another Backpack Surprise

Our Family Home Evening wasn't going too well tonight. Oh, we were trying to feel the spirit, and singing hymns and telling great stories to teach gospel principles. But the kids weren't feelin' it. They had a giggle fest all through the opening hymn and prayer. They couldn't stop laughing at Neal when he was singing. For some reason they were saying he had a "man opera" face. Abigail ran into the front room, grabbed something from the book shelf, and slammed it on the table. It was one of our A.D.D. books. Comic timing!

Speaking of A.D.D. and rotten food matter in school back packs, remember Sarah's back pack surprise after her first grade career came to a close? There are just some parenting tasks that I fail miserably in. Frankly, I pretty much suck. I'm not the most stellar parent when it comes to nourishing my kids brain cells through the summer. I'm pretty sure my school-age children have regressed a couple of grades this summer so far. Today as we were working on chores, I finally decided to go through Kate's backpack that has been hanging on her doorknob since the last day of school. You know, since school starts on the 8th, and we had to find a place for all the dollars worth of freaking school supplies I had to buy.

Yes, those are/were baby carrots. For all we know, they could have been in her backpack since Christmas.

Ahhh! To Be in the Mountains Again!!

We went camping last week at Cultus lake, near Bend. We spent time with a couple of attorney's from Neal's work and their families. We all had a great time!

Abby was so tired. She fell asleep out on the raft. Dad must be a good paddler.

I think I should have fallen asleep on the raft, too. It would have solved my white skin problem.

Here's what you get when you forget to pack the swimming diapers. Poop in a zip-loc bag. It happened when Neal was on Abby duty and I was on the boat. Sucks for him!

Did I mention that Cultus Lake has a nude beach? It was awesome!!!

Neal made a teeter-totter. Or as Kate calls it, a tater-totter.

Abigail scraped up the palm of her hand pretty good on a pokey stick. She was in the stroller, unbuckled, and decided to launch herself out and into the dirt. Kate and her friend felt so bad, because they were pushing her in the stroller. I told them it was no big deal. Stuff like that happens, and it's not like she died or anything.

The gaggle of kids around the table are playing the tootsie roll game. I taught it to them. I think it was a hit!

Soda in glass bottles is a camping staple. Sunday night at the dinner table, Kate piped up with a thought.

Kate: "Mom, it's actually funny when people say 'we've been praying for a baby.' Because I think, 'well, you have to do more than just pray for a baby!' But it's probably good that they don't mention that part."

Then the dog walks by.

Kate: "Dad, so how do dogs get babies?"

Neal: "They have sex."

Kate: "LAUGH!!!! Oh! So you have to shave all their fur off so that they'll be naked?!"

I think sex is becoming a frequent topic at our dinners. We're not quite sure where to go with this one. Thanks to Kate. That girl. . .

Portrait of a Tantrum

That was a long drive home after a fun-filled few days of camping. Happy camper?

Playland Stew

I decided to take the kids with me today on my "every two weeks" grocery shopping adventure. We drove into Salem to take advantage of Winco. The Winco is right next to Neal's work. So I call him and ask, "Do you want to come to lunch with us to McDonalds?" Who wouldn't want to?

This McDonalds has a playland. Abby has never been to a fast-food playland before. Don't get me wrong here, she gets her fill of drive-thru, but we never go inside. I'm pretty sure she just thinks McDonald's only comes through the window, never over the counter. As you can imagine, she was excited.

Until she froze at the top of the play structure and Kate couldn't get her to move.

I was yelling to Kate to just push Abby down the slide. Perhaps I was being judged by the other parents in playland, but I just don't care. By the looks of them, I'm sure they've done worse to their kids. She would survive a push down the slide.

It wouldn't work. Soon, Abby was hysterical (and freaking loud!). It was time to send the back-up troops. Only my backup refused to go. Sarah was like, "No way mom. I won't go up there, and you can't make me!" She was right. I couldn't make her. She's stronger than me and she knows it. I was screwed.

So, up I go. Into the plastic tubes, coated with french-fry grease from little hands, and sticky grime from little bare feet. Playland is a stinking greenhouse anyway, and you get inside of those plastic heating ducts up high where there's no air circulation and all the hot air stews with pee smell. It was gross. And I'm not as limber as I used to be when I was an early 20-something getting Sarah to come down from the top of the Carl's Jr. playland (she was naughty and would never come down until I would go up to get her). I'm also not as limber as I was in high school when we'd go to the McDonald's playland late at night on 5600 West and slide down the slides on the food trays. Talk about speed!

Anyway, by the time I rescued Abby and we came down the slide, I was a sweaty mess. Then Abigail spilled her chocolate milk all over herself while in the car.

Me: "Who gave Abby her chocolate milk in the car! That stuff is not allowed in the car!!!"

Neal: "Sorry."

So instead of going to Winco, I took the girls back home, then went all the way back to Salem to get my groceries.

And you wonder why we've never taken Abby to playland before? Besides the fact that I'm a lazy mother.

That Darn Cat! And Economy.

Unfortunately for my Dad, his office was shut down, so he's out of work. Fortunately for us, my parents and their dog, Dieter, decided to take some time to come and visit. We had a blast!!

While sitting at the table one evening, Kate and Sarah were making Abby call everyone a "hobo." Then Kate said, "Abby, say 'Bomps is a hobo!'" Abigail attempted the phrase. Then Kate said, "Bomps, you really ARE a hobo! You got fired from your job and you don't have any money!" Lucky for everyone, we all saw the humor in that statement and laughed really hard.

All the grandkids call my parents Granny and Bomps. Abby went around all week calling "BOM! BOM!" It kind of sounded like "BUM! BUM!" Hobo, bum - take your pick.

Molly the dog had a blast with Dieter dog. They both share a hatred of cats. So, what does Kate taunt them with? The neighbors cat. The one that she was watching while the neighbors were out of town. That kid. . . Check out her face. And if you see Kate and wonder why her arms are all scratched up?

Here's to hoping and praying that my dad finds work soon. Dang economy. I don't think it's getting any better.

STOP the Vandals

Abby and her giant chip. We had huevos rancheros the other night. Abigail calls the tostadas "chips," and only wants to eat those, as well as sprinkle cheese all over everyone's plate.

Poor yard. We're trying with the rehabilitation. We really are. Believe me - it looks better than it did 3 months ago. . .

Neal and I were walking through the parking lot of the Fairfield Inn - Medford, when we saw an old man in a precarious situation. It was dark, and some movement from a 2nd story window caught my attention. Suddenly, an old man in bright red bikini briefs opened his curtains. We could see him all the way down to his thighs. Neal looked away because he was so embarrassed for the old man. Neal is kind like that. I gawked and laughed really hard. The old man noticed us and pulled part of the curtain over to cover his sexy underwears. I think he was trying to figure out how to pull the curtains, and he gave us a little show in the process. Man, that made my night.

Kate and I have a fun game that we occasionally play in the car. We like to call it "Fun With Sharpies." When we see a stop sign, we imagine ourselves getting out and vandalizing them with a black sharpie. We would write things like, "Don't STOP believin'," "STOP it!," "I just can't STOP lovin' you," "STOP in the name of love," "STOP Justin Bieber," "STOP drugs," "Can't STOP the fever.," " STOP in the name of the law!" "STOP the insanity!" "STOP the Soviets," STOP drop and roll." You get the picture. If I had any balls, I would totally decorate all the stop signs in the neighborhood. 15 years ago I would have.

Shave Its* Butt and Teach It to Walk Backwards

* When I first published, I totally used "its" wrong in my title. It's embarrassing. Sarah told me not to be ashamed about it. But I told her that I should be, since I went to college. It's now corrected. Everything now is in its place.
I spent a good part of Saturday grooming the dog. Yes, that's a pile of dog hair. I wasn't really cut out to groom animals. With the exception of the 'to the skin' bald spot on her back, and all of the missed spots in her nethers, I did ok. She doesn't like her nethers trimmed. Who does? Who am I kidding. She looks terrible! But, she's much happier now that she's not wearing her sweater anymore.

Here's my helper, adorned in diaper, chocolate milk stained shirt, and wacked-out hair. You know, I just don't care anymore. I don't! And it feels so good.

This morning didn't get off to a great start. By the time our disastrous scripture study was over with, I was yelling at the kids and throwing chore curses left and right. Harry Potter style. I made a long list of jobs, cut them into strips, and had the kids draw their fate from my mean mom hands. My house is pretty clean now. So is the car - inside and out! Kate is still avoiding the last of her jobs. But I'll get her. I always do.

Neal and I had a sexy get-away to Medford. Well, not really, but it was nice. While Neal met with a client for 2 hours in Grass Pants, I mean Grants Pants, I mean Grants Pass, I sat in the car and planned my primary lesson (David and Goliath is fun to teach), and made my grocery list. Am I a loser for enjoying that time? I think so. What has happened to me? We had some good food, and I explored a bit while Neal was at the Medford office Friday morning. On the way home, we were planning on some hiking, but my tummy decided to brew something fierce, so we just went home. So boring. But really, so nice. I like being with Neal. Even though he worked most of the time.